To My Son, part 2

Buddy,

Two nights ago, you fell asleep crying about how unfair it was that you weren't going to get to marry me. You said that you thought you'd be a grown up and I'd be a grown up and you'd get to marry me. You were heartbroken when you found out that you'd have to marry someone else. It simply wasn't an option for you.

See, you like to give mommy long kisses like you see daddy give me. Nothing too crazy, don't worry, but you just like to hold my face with your hands and give me kisses for about 5 seconds. It's sweet, because I know what you're trying to do is show me how much I mean to you. You said that you see daddy kiss me like that and you just think that's how you're supposed to kiss me. We were watching a video trailer of an upcoming movie, and the two main characters started kissing in an elevator. Again, nothing third base, just a long kiss.

You looked at me and said, "Awww. That's so sweet. That's how I kiss you, Mommy!"

Unsurprisingly, it's a little uncomfortable for me and your dad. I don't want you to be embarrassed if you tried to kiss me like that in public — my fear is that you'd get made fun of and then never want to give me a kiss again. So, we talked to you about how those kisses are for mommies and daddies and one day you'd find someone who you loved like that who you could kiss.

This broke your heart and led to the marriage discussion.

This morning, however, I could tell you'd been giving the idea of marriage quite a lot of thought.

"Mommy? When I grow up and find the girl I want to marry, will you take me to the place you and Daddy got married?"
"Of course, bud."
"And will you watch me do it?"
"You better believe I'm going to watch you get married."
"OK, good. Because I think I want to marry Emma."

Emma, as I've mentioned before, was your BFFFFFF from the time you were 3 to 3.5. I've tried so many times to find her so you guys could have a playdate. You still have her picture by your bed. You just love her. You've never had a friend who has meant as much to you as she did. I hope she thinks of you the same way.

But you and me, kid? We've got something special. Almost every night I tell you this, and sweetheart — it's true. I love you more than any little boy in the world. There is no momma who has ever loved her boy as much as I love you. You are the most loved little boy in the whole world.

And you love me. I know that, kiddo. I know you love me. If I'm doing my job right, you'll always know I love you, too. Forever and ever and ever and ever. And when ever's over, I'll still love you.

Love (eternally), me